No More Heroes...

Who are your heroes? Are they the same as they were when you were younger, or have you outgrown them? I've been pondering this myself for a while, since Michael Jackson died. Not that Jackson was ever a hero of mine...

What is a hero? To me, a hero is a person who exhibits qualities that puts them above others in any field, be it sports, music, art or writing. When I was younger I had a few heroes, people that I respected, who I felt had a talent that lifted them up to the highest heights, who became, for want of a better phrase, gods. Sadly, I now feel that most of those people have let me down.

Let's get down to specifics. Sixteen years ago, I wrote a list of "The Gods":

1. George Lucas
2. Jean Michel Jarre
3. Jim Henson
4. Green Gartside (from Scritti Politti)
5. Jim Aparo
6. Alan Grant
7. Gene Roddenberry
8. Nik Kershaw
9. Arthur C. Clarke

(Looking back, I would probably add Terry Pratchett and Madonna to that list, but didn't at the time. Poor old Nik Kershaw has "demi-God" in brackets after his name, so he wasn't obviously totally in favour at the time.)

Anyway, looking at that list now, would I still consider them heroes? By that tag, I mean that they are still as important to me as they were then, that they haven't put a creative step wrong, that they are still, well, Gods, and not mere... people. It's harsh, but there you go.

So, 1. George Lucas. Well, it was all going so well until 1999, wasn't it? His position in the pantheon looked assured, the Special Editions of the Star Wars trilogy could be seen as an indulgence, rather than a mis-step, but then Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace came out. The fall to mortality wasn't immediate, but the creeping feeling grew that the halo had slipped... (See I Blame Rick McCallum for more details!) Mortal.

2. Jean Michel Jarre.  In 1992, one of my favourite Jarre albums, Chronologie had come out.  In 1993 I went to see him at Wembley Stadium and I thought his reputation had been sealed, but in the intervening years, he's produced few albums of such magnificence, but has been reworking his old stuff, making little "art" albums and then the appalingly bad Téo & Téa "dance" album.  I blame the fact tha he's not married to Charlotte Rampling anymore.  The woman must have been a good influence which he's now sadly missing... Mortal (though fingers crossed for the future!)

3. Jim Henson.  Untouchable.  His sad and untimely death in 1990 meant that he could no longer prove himself fallible. (Unfortunately his death proved his mortality though...) The body of work created by him in his lifetime stands firm.  His legacy, and the future worth of the Henson Organization remains to be seen. Hero.

4. Green Gartside. Just when I thought nothing would ever be heard again from Mr. Gartside, in 2006, he pulled out his best album since Cupid & Psyche '85 in the form of White Bread Black Beer, a self-produced, minimalist album of pure loveliness. Hero.

5. Jim Aparo and 6. Alan Grant. Look, I was a big comics fan in the 1990s, especially a Batman fan, so this classic artist and writer duo got included. Still like their work, but haven't read a comic in anger for nearly a decade, so I can't really say if they're still heroes. Probably. Though I'd have to veer towards Frank Miller and Alan Moore for their work on The Dark Knight Returns and The Killing Joke respectively.

7. Gene Roddenberry. The man had a vision and a commitment to get Star Trek made and to keep it going in the '80s and '90s with Star Trek: The Next Generation. His death in 1991 didn't stop the franchise, and his legacy, as proved by the huge success of J.J. Abrams' big screen reboot Star Trek this year. Hero.

8. Nik Kershaw. OK, so he's not as big a star as he was in 1984, but Mr. Kershaw keeps putting out songs of wit and intelligence on his own label, making albums such as 2001's To Be Frank and 2006's You've Got To Laugh. Hero, just for doing what he does.

9. Arthur C. Clarke. The greatest Science-Fiction writer ever. Prescient and talented and just a fantastic writer. Hero.

And Terry Pratchett.  His writing gets better and better all the time, despite a dip in the Soul Music/Hogfather years and unfortunately his Alzheimer's will probably get him before he gets a chance to make the fall from grace. Still a hero. Always a hero.

Madonna. The only woman on the list, but unfortunately now very much a mortal. Like Jackson, her heyday is well past now, but no one seems to have told her. She keeps churning out the same sub-R&B drivel, but people still seem to like it. So maybe it's just me, but she hasn't done anything good since 1998's Ray of Light (and actually, looking at the sales figures, a lot less people like it...). Mortal.

So, there you go. Most of my heroes are only still my heroes because they're dead. If I had to write such a list now, I'd definitely include Joss Whedon for his work on Buffy, Firefly/Serenity, Dr Horrible and Dollhouse and for being a funny, horribly talented genius. I'd also include John Lasseter and all the team at Pixar for neverfailing to entertain and amaze.

Funny, but all my heroes come from the creative world. No sports people and no politicians. Hmmm....

Rendez-Vous

Seriously, if you haven't heard this album, then you have no excuse not to hear it now. You can get Jean Michel Jarre's incredible 1986 album Rendez-Vous for only £3 as an MP3 download!

It's majestic, fantastic, awe-inspiring, eerie, beautiful, and wonderful. Go buy it now, and tell me what you think! (You can also get Oxygène for £3 too!)

10 Random Songs

So here's what you do. Fire up your iPod or iTunes (other music players/programs are available), and set it to Shuffle Songs from your entire library (no cheating by choosing a cool playlists). Then you have to list the first ten songs that come up, who they're by and what album they're from. No skipping! Then just write a few lines about that song - if you like it, any memories attached to it... And then post it and tag some friends!

1. "Je Sais Pas" by Céline Dion from D'eux - Great start... In my defence, it's my wife's album, but it is probably the only credible album Céline Dion's done, and this song ain't too bad. Don't feel the need to skip on...

2. "Satin Chic" By Goldfrapp from Supernature - That's a bit better! A nice glam pop song with a honky tonky piano. Not as good as some of their other stuff, but nice enough.

3. "Dream Of Me" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark from The OMD Singles - A track from a compilation album. Quite good, but not as good as the singles.

4. "Knight Rider 2000" by Jan Hammer from Drive - The very cool theme from the Knight Rider 2000 TV movie from the guy who did the Miami Vice music. Not as cool as the original Knight Rider but cool nonetheless. In a jazzy, piano bar kind of way.

5. "Snow Cherries from France" by Tori Amos from Tales of a Librarian - Tori doing her thing. Unremarkable but quite nice. (Ugh. I have a bland music library from this little selection...)

6. "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" by U2 from Achtung Baby - That's better. A great track from an excellent album. Reminds me of being in a Youth Hostel in Orange County, California, eating cheese left over from a ploughman's and chips at the English Pub down the road. This was one of the CDs left in the hostel. I listened and loved.

7. "Without You I'm Nothing" by Placebo from Without You I'm Nothing - Ah, a bit of pre-millennial angst. Nice. Goes on a bit though...

8. "Spies" by Coldplay from Parachutes - Don't know how this got on here.... Music to fall asleep to....

9. "Strange But True" by Prince (for arguments sake) from Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic - Nice little funky track from one of the purple one's less successful albums.

10. "Halloween" by Kirsty MacColl from From Croydon to Cuba... An Anthology - Ah, the sorely missed Miss MacColl. She had some great songs, and I don't remember hearing this one before.

Friday-Night Blog: Me and the Manics

The handy-dandy iLike application in Facebook informed me this week that the Manic Street Preachers are playing the Roundhouse in Camden in a few weeks time, which got me thinking about the Manics... (see, it's not just thrown together, this. Literally minutes of thought go into it. OK, it's a bit late this week, but hey, I'm only human. Don't see any of you trying to write a weekly blog post... Come on then... You do it if you think it's so easy.... Sheesh. Ahem.)

So anyway, me and the Manics have a very strange relationship. I've been a fan of them since very near the beginning of their careers. I'm not saying I was there at the release of the New Art Riot EP, but, I'm sure I've liked them since Mark and Lard used to play "You Love Us" (and then hijacked it for their "We Love Us" bit on the radio). I loved their energy and their music, but bizarrely, I don't remember seeing any pictures of them for a long time, but I think I would have loved them all the more for their New Art Punk look. I loved the idea that they had the original plan of selling umpteen million copies of Generation Terrorists and then splitting up in a blaze of glory. The opening salvo of "Slash and Burn", the first track on the album, is possibly the greatest statement of intent by any band anywhere, ever. James Dean Bradfield's guitar starts off fast and furious and just gets faster and more furious. (Apparently, Richey Edwards used to dare him to play faster...)

So, time went on, and I bought their second album, Gold Against The Soul. By this time, I'd started to twig that the Manics might be a little, well, political. I don't do politics. It brings me out in a rash. And yet I loved this very intellectual, very political band. Most of the time it didn't matter, because you couldn't understand what James Dean Bradfield was singing anyway. To this day, I still don't have a clue what half the lyrics to their early albums are, I just have to hum along until I get to the bits I recognise...

And in 1994, I went to the USA, and the Manics released their last album with Richey Edwards before he disappeared, The Holy Bible. Although it didn't do too well on first release, it has since become regarded as their masterpiece. I however don't get it. It's not to say I don't like it, I just don't get it. Maybe it's because I was out of the country (the Manics weren't big in Flagstaff), but it had absolutely zero impact on me. It took me a few years to buy it (well after Everything Must Go, and possibly even after This Is My Truth, Tell Me Yours) and I've never really got a handle on it. The lyrics were mostly written by Richey, and weren't exactly full of the joys of spring. Maybe it's just too much for my sunny disposition. Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of angst as much as the next guy, but songs about anorexia and whatnot are a bit too much for me.

Then the Manics released Everything Must Go and suddenly they were beloved of your Ben Sherman-wearing lad out on the piss: "We don't talk about love/We only want to get drunk", who as usual, completely miss the point.... Never mind, the album was great, and since then they haven't put a foot wrong in my opinion. I even love Lifeblood, seen by many as their nadir, before their solo work and then the "back to form" album, Send Away The Tigers. When I went to see them on their Forever Delayed Greatest Hits tour, I was totally blown away. It's probably the best gig I've been to in terms of the inspirational effect it had on me. Not that I picked up a guitar and started to write songs, that would be too much like positive action for me. But I wanted to. I couldn't believe the noise these three men made, with James tearing up his guitar and the stage, Nicky loping about like a bass-playing giraffe, and Sean creating thunder at the back. It was incredible.

The good news is that there's a new Manics album due out next month. The not-so-good news (for me) is that it's based on notes and lyrics left to the band by Richey Edwards before his disappearance. So in effect, it's The Holy Bible, Part II. Could be good. I hope it is. No doubt I'll buy it, probably on the day it comes out. I'm strange like that.

So that's me and the Manics. A strange love affair. But a wonderful one.

Review: "Wild Boy: My Life in Duran Duran" - Andy Taylor

Duran Duran were probably the first band that I really loved - not just in a "oh, they make good songs" kind of way, but in a "wow, they're really great" kind of way. I loved John Taylor's funky bass playing (just listen to some of those bass lines), Nick Rhodes' cool and funky synth lines, Roger Taylor's power drumming ("Wild Boys"), and Simon Le Bon's perfect pop voice (and lyrics, which as every '80s pop band knew, shouldn't be easily understood, and if you could hear them, they shouldn't make sense) but I never really got Andy Taylor's contribution to the band. Not that the guitar parts weren't important; his acoustic work on tracks like "Save A Prayer" is fantastic, but he always seemed to me the outsider, the "rock" star who had wandered into this "pop" band, and would prefer to not be wearing the make-up and tea-towel clothes.

Andy's book, Wild Boy: My Life in Duran Duran confirms much of this feeling. He was the last member to be recruited to the band, having been gigging with various rock bands around Europe, and was one of the first to leave (and the only member to leave twice!) when things went a bit wonky. His story is one of antagonism with various members of the band (and management and record company) at one time or another, but what also comes across is his attempts at trying to keep everything together when the excesses of being one of the biggest bands of the '80s were taking their toll.

Andy tells his story with a great sense of humour and realism. He doesn't shy away from the problems he had with drink and drugs, but neither does he gloss over them, or even moralize about them. He talks frankly about the problems within the band and reveals why he had to leave the band in the mid-eighties, and then again after the reunion.

What has struck me is how much I now appreciate his contribution to one of my favourite bands. He reveals that his favourite Duran song is "The Reflex", (the same as mine) and also reveals the struggle the band had to get the Nile Rogers remix of the song released by the record company in the USA. The problem? It apparently sounded "too black"! The band (especially Andy) fought to get it released, and it became their biggest single of all, showing that record companies don't always know what's best.

This is the first official autobiography of Duran Duran, and as such it obviously has its shortcomings, as the band still carried on without Andy during the second half of the eighties and into the nineties. Andy understandably glosses over this time (as the book is subtitled "My Life in Duran Duran"), but he also doesn't recognize the fact that the band did quite well without him (especially the Notorious and Duran Duran - The Wedding Album albums.

Hopefully, this book will drive one of the other band members to give their side of the story. Nick Rhodes would be ideal, as he's the only member of the band to have survived from their earliest Rum Runner days all the way through to the present day. Until then we'll just have to make do with Andy Taylor's, which isn't a bad thing after all. (You could also try Steve Malins' unauthorised biography Notorious, which is also quite entertaining.)

Matinée Club

Once upon a time, there were a bad called The Modern, and I thought they were rather good, when I heard their song "Suburban Culture" which was given away by iTunes as their Single of the Week. Eighties electro-pop, very Human League, with a diva-esque front woman called Emma (who once played the young Pat Butcher...) and a bloke with an odd voice called Chi.

Time went by, the band released a couple of singles, but the album never appeared, and their website seemed frozen. "Oh well," I thought, "another great band down the dumper before they've gone anywhere..."

And then today I checked their website to find that it had disappeared altogether. So I Googled them to find out what had happened, and it turns out that they've renamed themselves Matinée Club and have a new website (except it's a lot like the old The Modern website) at www.MatinéeClub.co.uk!

Not only that, but they've finally got around to releasing their album on iTunes, called Modern Industry. It contains most of their tracks as The Modern, plus some new ones (and a cover of David Bowie's "Modern Love")

There's more to the story, which you can find at Wikipedia if you're interested, or check out their MySpace page.

Kylie and the Daleks!

Not long to go now until the Christmas Doctor Who special, starring Kylie Minogue as a maid on the Titanic (last seen crashing into the TARDIS...), and to celebrate, the cover of the new issue of Doctor Who Magazine features our favourite pop princess posing in a slinky gold dress with one of Skaro's finest.

Apparently the issue (out 13th December) features a giant poster of Kylie anda Dalek too! Find out more here!

Oxygene hits 30!

Yes, Jean Michel Jarre's groundbreaking album has reached the grand old age of thirty! One of the original hippy-trippy electronic albums hads now been kicking around for three decades, and to celebrate, Jean Michel Jarre has, um, released it again.

OK, so the new version is a totally new "master recording" recreated using the original score and original analogue synths, to create a new version. The reocrding sounds, well, exactly the same. I'm sure some of the hardcore Jarre-nerds have spotted some diferences, but to me it just sounds nice and clean (although there are a few noisy sections (original samples?))

OXYGENE Jean Michel Jarre

Equinoxe on the Rocks

This fantastic track has been flagged up on the Jean Michel Jarre Yahoo! group recently. It's a cover version of Jean Michel's 1978 track Equinoxe 7 by a Norwegian musician called Per Kristian Risvik, and as the name implies, it rocks. The original track is a lot quieter, but still quite driven and exciting. Per Kristian's version just layers in a heavier, pounding bassline and some truly thunderous drums, giving it a more powerful, almost live feel (similar to the version found on Jarre's Houston/Lyon live CDs).

It's well worth a listen, and if you like it, check out some of Per Kristian's other work, which includes some original pieces as well as covers of the Doctor Who theme and the Super Mario jingles!

Click here to listen to Equinoxe on the Rocks

Oversol say... no more!

Sad news just in from Oversol. Best to let the boys say it themselves:

To all our lovely Oversol fans,

Firstly we want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Jolly New Year!

Unfortunately in the Oversol camp, we have some sad news. Although we have had such a great time being part of Oversol and have had many laughs on the way, Tom and then Aaron felt that it was their time to move on. As for the rest of the band, we feel that it would be an impossible task to fill their amazingly talented shoes, and it has therefore resulted in the closing of a chapter in our lives too.

We want to thank you all for your amazing support, for all the CDs you bought and the gigs you sang your hearts out at! We hope you have enjoyed Oversol as much as we have. Who knows, you may see some of us venturing out in other things soon!

Love from Oversol 
========================

As a token of thanks for your support over the last few years, we'd like to give you a little something to remember us by. After rooting through the Oversol archives, we've found some recordings that you may not have heard, and we thought it would be nice to share them with you. So if you visit Oversol.co.uk then you'll find 4 EPs to download - totally free of course! We're giving away 17 tracks, ranging from demos which were recorded back in 2003, to acoustic versions, to more recent recordings. It's been interesting listening back to the old stuff, and hearing how our sound changed over the years - there's certainly a variety of material there, in terms of both style and quality! Hopefully you'll find something to enjoy.

As we said in the announcement above, it's been a lot of fun. Enjoy the festive season and hopefully we'll see you again in the future.

Love from Aaron, Mogs, Nathan, Rees and Tom xx

So there you have it, the end of another great hope for the future. Who knows, maybe if more people had bought their stuff then they'd still be going, but that's life. We here at the 'Slut wish them all the best for the future - and thanks for all the free stuff!

The Great Coca-Cola/iTunes Giveaway

So here's how it works. You buy a bottle of Coke, and on the back of the label is a code. You type that code into iTunes and you get a free download. So far so good, Coca-Cola sells lots of its lovely fizzy beverages and the punter gets lots of free songs. But - and here's the catch - you can only have five songs per person. So, no matter how much Coke you drink, you can only have five songs.

Now it seems to me that this is all a bit, well, screwy. If Coke had printed the codes in a few bottles, rather than every single one, then people would buy more Coke in order to find the free songs. Better still, there could have been a scale of prizes, from single downloads, to multiple downloads, up to an iPod, iMac and ten thousand free downloads. I know I'd have been buying Coke till it came out of my ears.

Oh well, maybe I should go into marketing.

The Return of Scritti Politti: "White Bread, Black Beer"

Ever since the release of 1999's Anomie & Bonhomie, things had been a mite quiet on the Scritti front, but then things started to happen. Green Gartside played a couple of gigs under the name Double G and The Traitorous 3 (the first time he'd ventured on stage in about 25 years), and rumours were flying around about a new album, due to be released in April on Rough Trade, the label they'd started off on, back in 1982.

And on May 29th, White Bread, Black Beer was released to the world, and to outstanding critical acclaim. A much more stripped-down affair, the album was written, produced and recorded by Green in his own home in Peckham. Gone were the hip-hop influences (intrusions?) of Anhomie & Bonhomie, to be replaced by a more acoustic (guitars!), more laid-back feel. Songs with titles like "The Boom Boom Bap" feel like they should have the verve and boisterousness of Provision's "Boom! There She Was", but it's actually a beautiful, mellow song - albeit with a trademark Scritti booming bassline.

The album has a stealth-like quality, sneaking up on you. At first listen, fans of Cupid and Psyche '85 (Best Album in the World, Ever) may not like it's subdued quality, but then the sheer beauty of Green's androgynous vocals, looped and harmonized will take hold of you, seducing you and drawing you in. Green's trademark turn of phrase is still present: "Coming with the force of an illocution", "small paper packages washed down with gin" and "You bet your Petrococadollar"

It's been a long time coming, but it was worth it. Better than Cupid and Psyche '85? Not quite, but it comes a definite second - as another reviewer said, this is the album Provision should have been, after its heralding single "Oh Patti (Don't Feel Sorry For Loverboy)". In short, this is a truly beautiful album, and well worth a listen. Get it here now!

Scritti Politti in Mercury Music Prize shock!

D'oh! I missed this last week, and only found out about it when I went into HMV and saw their nominee display. Should help Green shift a few more copies, even if he doesn't win - and there's some stiff competition. The Arctic Monkeys are obviously favourites, but with Muse and Thom Yorke in the mix anything could happen.

"BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Arctic Monkeys lead Mercury list: "The Arctic Monkeys are favourites to win the 2006 Mercury Music Prize after the shortlist was revealed in London.
Albums by Radiohead singer Thom Yorke and rock bands Muse and Editors are also up for the award for the best UK or Irish album of the past year.
The other nominated albums are by Guillemots, Sway, Richard Hawley, Hot Chip, Isobel Campbell, Scritti Politti, Zoe Rahman and Lou Rhodes.
The winner will receive a �20,000 cheque at a ceremony on 5 September."

'Right time' for Cerys' comeback

She's back! Ah, the lovely Cerys Matthews (formerly of Catatonia) is back in the UK for a new tour and to promote her new album, Never Said Goodbye. If you missed her last album, Cockahoop, then I seriously recommend you find a copy, 'cos it's really rather good.

BBC NEWS | Wales | 'Right time' for Cerys' comeback

The Official Cerys Matthews Website

Adam Ant: Extra Wonderful!

Unlike me to let something like this pass me by, but then I only seem to have missed it by a few days. Yes, there is new Ant material ont' web. The digital album Extra Wonderful has been released to an Ant-hungry world. So, here's the story....

In the early 1990s, Mr Ant and Mr Pirroni hoiked themselves off to Capitol Records and recorded an album called Wonderful, which, although a very good album, failed to reignite their careers. The title track was a minor hit both sides of the Atlantic, and then two further singles failed to do any significant business. And so, that was that, Aside from umpteen collections and the excellent Remasters project, there has been no new Antmusic to speak of, despite rumours and pipe-dreams. And so, we now have Extra Wonderful.

Essentially a collection of B-sides and remixes, there are a few hidden gems here. There are the B-sides to the three singles ("Wonderful", "Beautiful Dream" and "Gotta Be A Sin"), the highlight of which has to be "Phoenix". The remixes are essentially unremarkable, but there is a decent new spin on "Beautiful Dream" (though the two versions seem to be very similar).

You also get an excellent set of live tracks, ranging from "Cleopatra" to "Desparate But Not Serious" which are really rather good. I especially like their cover of Nine Inch Nails' "Physical (You're So)" (!).

So, another set of tracks for the Ant-completist. The whole lot comes in at a hefty £13.99, but you do get 22 tracks. Worth it? Yeah, probably. Wonder if the "missing" MCA album (recorded after Manners & Physique) will ever turn up?

Download it here:

Well, I've been busy, y'know...

Sorry it's been a bit quiet here recently. I've been a bit busy this year (see Rabbits' Blog for details). And I even started writing this entry 2 months ago....

So, what's been happening, then? Well, I was going to do a review of 2005, but that kinda went out the window. In summary, I think that the best single of 2005 was "Galvanize" by the Chemical Brothers. It was a close run thing with the Ivor Novello-winning "Wires" by Athlete, but I think the Chems just clinched it with their barnstorming dance track. However, album of the year goes to Athlete for Tourist, because it's just so incredibly good. Breakthrough act of the year goes to The Chalets, not just for bringing out a stonkingly good album in Check In, but for managing to get an album out when other DPS-supported acts (such as The Modern and Oversol) still haven't managed to deliver the goods. We're still waiting, guys. Live act of the year goes to the incredible Pop Will Eat Itself. The sweaty night in January at Shepherd's Bush Empire will be remembered for a long time. The Poppies also get the Good Thing award for reforming and putting on all the concerts (bless 'em), and teasing us with the Sonic Noise-Byte. (However, they're also the winners of this year's Bad Thing, for going and splitting up again... Sigh...)

Right, well, hopefully I'll be a bit more back on track from now on!

Oversol - new site, new tour, new single!

"Speed", the debut single by Oversol is released on November 28th! To celebrate, the lads are going on tour, and have unleashed a smart new website: Oversol.co.uk. You can hear a snippet of the new single, plus bits from all their previous EPs.

The song sounds great, a little like their big brothers, Athlete, but with their own spiky edge. Buy it when it's out - you know it makes sense...!

The End of an Era...

Alas, as I write this, the last moments of Christian O'Connell's Breakfast Show on Xfm are playing out. It's almost as emotional as when Simon Mayo left Radio 1. Still, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Christian, Chris Smith, Roque and Brian the Idiotic Assistant for five years of making the trip to work bearable (and sometimes making me cry with laughter so much I could hardly see the road). You will be missed, my friends (even if I never did get a T-shirt...!)

The Lovely Lauren Laverne™ takes over in a week or so. I'm not saying it'll be the same, but I'll keep an open mind. At least it wasn't bloody Richard Bacon.

Pop Will Eat Itself - 04.11.05

Just got this message from the PWEInation website: "we'd love to see you on the site some time in the next two weeks...... who knows what you might find?", so I go there: pweination.org If you click on the huge "04.11.05" you get taken to the forum. There's a thread under Reformation (the name given to the set of concerts at the beginning of the year), but no actual information. (and then Safari crashes for some reason!) The crafty so-and-sos are keeping us guessing...

My guess is that it's a new series of gigs rather than a new album, but here's hoping...

Um... The Chalets New Album...

Sorry, I appear to have dropped the ball on this one... The Chalets new album, Check In, actually came out at the beginning of the month, and I didn't know. Forgive me? I'm going to see if I can get hold of it today in the shops, or else I'll have to get it off Amazon (hey, I'm just an old-fashioned guy who likes the shiny plastic cases...!). Anyway, you can get it off iTunes here:

I've had a quick listen to some of the samples, and it all seems chock-full of the same quality goodness of their debut single, "Feel The Machine" (which you did buy, didn't you?) I'll let you know what the whole album's like when I get it. Probably. You're still waiting to hear what I thought of Shelly Poole's Hard Time for the Dreamer (beautiful music, possibly a touch too much Radio 2), and t.A.T.u.'s Dangerous and Moving (not as good as their first one), aren't you?

t.A.T.u. - A Health Warning from CD:UK

"...it's all too clear why t.A.T.u. are the most exciting pop act we've experienced for years. It's because t.A.T.u - like their motherland - are unbelievably dangerous.

And we mean that sincerely. t.A.T.u. honestly give us the impression that they could have us killed. Compare that with... say, Girls Aloud, who - at the very worst - could inveigle us into a situation where we might have to make regular payments to the Child Support Agency. Or The Pussycat Dolls, who could just about blind us with the steely glow of their over-bleached teeth. Or the Sugababes, who could possibly sulk us to sleep. None of them can do what t.A.T.u. do so effortlessly: scare us."

Bwah ha ha! Read the whole thing here: :: cduk

And while we're on the subject of everyone's favourite faux-lesbian group, I went to get the new album today, and only found it for sale in HMV (CD £10.99, CD & DVD bizarrely priced at £9.99, when their in-store computer thing said it should be £15.99). Tesco, Asda, Woolworths and WHSmith didn't even acknowledge its existence. The new Sugababes and Liberty X albums were there, but not t.A.T.u.'s. Have the girls really pissed someone off? Or is this a big conspiracy to keep cool pop out of the charts?

t.A.T.u. - UK Website

Just stumbled across the new UK t.A.T.u. website at tatugirls.co.uk. So far, so Flashy (some dodgy picture editing on the main screen too), but the best thing has to be the 30 second excerpts from the new album Dangerous and Moving (crap title, I know, but at least it's not as much of a mouthful as 200km/h in the Wrong Lane...), and they sound fantastic! Roll on the 10th October!

BTW, yes, I did cave in and buy the singles... I'm so weak! The remixes aren't bad, and the new track "Divine" is pretty good, if a little unusual. And the video on the DVD is as good as ever - again, the edited version doesn't make sense.

And I hear the girls were up to their usual scampish selves on The Frank Skinner Show this week, but I missed it. Bah!

Oversol - gig and new single!

"In 2004, frustrated by the limitations of their guitar-based line-up, Oversol decided to add keyboards and Rees joined, bringing a new depth and melody, and perhaps just as importantly the additional vocal harmonies that now make up a big part of their unique sound. They are attracting interest both in the UK and USA, have supported Athlete at several sold out shows, and "Speed Of Light" has picked up airplay on radio stations across the UK. To coincide with the release of Oversol's debut single, "Speed", you can see them live in London. 17TH NOVEMBER - LONDON WATER RATS" - getLive.co.uk

Cool!

How Much??!?

So there I was, about to get the new t.A.T.u. single, "All About Us" (see below, or above, or whatever), when I suddenly saw the price. Okay, so you can buy the standard CD single (presumably the one that is chart-eligible) for £1.99, but if you want new tracks or remixes, then you have a choice. You can buy the DVD single, featuring the "banned" video (BTW, the edited video doesn't make sense) and a new track, or the maxi-CD single, featuring a new track and about four remixes (definitely not chart-eligible). Both of these cost £3.99 each! So, if you're a completist, that's going to cost you a tenner! For a single! It's an outrage!

Coldplay "Fix You"

Shite, isn't it?

Free Shelly Poole!

Hurry, hurry, hurry! For a limited time only, you can download "Totally Underwater" from Shelly Poole's album absolutely free from !

If you didn't know, Shelly used to be in Alisha's Attic with her sister Karen, and has since written songs for people like Kylie, Girls Aloud and Amy Studt. The new stuff is still definitely Alisha, but a little bit more mellow. Check it out now!

Goldfrapp: "Supernature"

So here's the thing. I bought Goldfrapp's third album yesterday, on the day of release, and I was going to post a review the same day. But, as I listened to it, I was finding myself stuck for what to say. So, I didn't get around to writing a review.

Thinking about it today, I realised that while it is a lovely, beautiful album, it's also not that exciting. None of the tracks have really grabbed me, not in the way that something like "Twist" or "Strict Machine" from Black Cherry did. The opening track and recent hit single "Ooh La La" (praised in this very organ) is probably the most dynamic song of the lot, with its Glam-Rock attitude and style. That's not to say the rest of the album isn't worthwhile. "Lovely 2 CU" and "Slide In" are both good songs, but they only just keep their head above the surface.

Away from the music, it seems like someone has told Alison Goldfrapp that she really is quite a good looking girl and should have her picture taken more. I think I've seen more pictures of her to promote this album than I have for the previous two, and that can only be a good thing! And what's with all this extra DVD nonsense? I'm getting fed up with having to decide between buying the vanilla CD for under £10, or the CD/DVD/SACD multipack with extra flanges for £17. Most of the time the extras aren't worth it, so why are we made to have to choose? Bah!

I really wanted to love this album, but I think I'll have to be content with merely liking it. Supernature is a good album, and will probably grow on me, but for the moment it's only a good album. Nothing more.

Get Supernature at

The new t.A.T.u. video!

Yep, these are the latest pics from the new t.A.T.u. video, "All About Us", taken from their forthcoming second album Dangerous and Moving. If you want to see the new video, then go to tatugirls.com and click on the audio/video link at the bottom of the screen.

As for the song itself, I like it. Once more, it's full of their overblown Eurovision style (never a bad thing), with more than a hint of late ABBA, especially in the chorus. Lena's voice seems to have got better and she's looking darn fine too (she's the one with the reddish hair who does most of the singing, if you didn't know). The video nicely plays on the whole t.A.T.u. mythology - Are they lesbians? Do they hate each other? - with a dramatic storyline involving Julia and a dodgy bloke, and the revelation that Lena will always be there for her. Aw bless!

Possibly not as strong and as brazen as "All The Things She Said", but I think that "All About Us" is a fine addition to the EuroPop tradition.

V Festival 2005

Just to let you know, the V festival sounded great this year - well, the bits I could hear from my house. You have to concentrate a bit, and hope that the wind is in the right direction, and to roughly know who you're meant to be listening out for, but that's only a small matter. I heard Athlete playing "Beautiful" at just after 5 o'clock yesterday, and most of Scissor Sisters set last night ("Mary", "Comfortably Numb", "Return to Oz", "Filthy/Gorgeous" and some other song I didn't recognize).

Yes, I know I could have just turned on the radio, or watched it on TV, but that doesn't count, and anyway they only seemed to want to show The Ordinary Boys on the telly, and they're not particularly my tasse de thé.

I hope everyone that went to Hylands (and the other place) had a great time (sorry about the rain on Friday night) and you'll come back to sunny Chelmsford again!

"Tourist" released!

"Tourist" is out now on a 2-track CD, featuring a Roots Manuva remix, and also a 7" picture disc with a BBC6 Music Session of "Half Light" on the b-side. Go buy now!

"Ooh La La" - the brand new single from Goldfrapp

Hurrah! Goldfrapp have got a new single out! "Ooh La La" from the forthcoming album Supernature is out next week, and it's rather good - a stomping glam rock number with the usual Goldfrapp electronic embellishments. And of course, Alison Goldfrapp herself looks as gorgeous as ever in the video. If everything is working correctly, you should be able to pre-order the single from Amazon by clicking in that box on the right. Go on, give it a try!

A Few Updates

Just to follow up on a few things: The Chalets "Feel The Machine" charted at a respectable, um, well, it didn't get into the top 40, anyway. Go and download it anyway, it's brilliant.

And osymyso extracted his finger and stuck 4 new parts of 05ymy50 on his site, so hurrah and huzzah!

The Return of t.A.T.u!

They're back, Back, BACK! Possibly the ultimate kinkyMachine group, (Russian teenage faux-lesbians who had the balls to sucessfully cover The Smiths "How Soon Is Now?" on their first album - what's not to love?) t.A.T.u. have announced the release of their second album, Dangerous and Moving, due 17th October.

Their official site has now also got English language pages, so you don't have to suffer the tortured translations of Babelfish or WorldLingo (although that does take the fun out of a lot of it!) So hold onto your hats for the second Russian Revolution (or is it the third...?)

You can read all about Lena and Julia's second coming at www.tatu.ru Hurrah and Huzzah!

osymyso

To celebrate the release of the tenth part of 05ymy50, "Something New", I thought I should highlight the work of one of the net's greatest musicians, osymyso.

osymyso first came to my attention when I heard his "Intro-Inspection" track on XFM. The track, which lasts for over twelve minutes, features a really silly number of samples from the intros to various pop songs. It truly is a work of breathtaking ingenuity, cleverness and downright inspiration. (My favourite bit has to be the "Need You Tonight"/"Come on Eileen" segue - it's sooo funky!). It's also perfect to round off a pub pop quiz - how many tracks can you name?

The really good news is that you can get this track on osymyso's website absolutely free! Plus you can also get all his other tracks for no pence whatsoever! There's the 30-minute long "Puckish Mix" (featuring a full remix of "The Reflex" among others), the hilarious EastEnders sampling "Pat n Peg", and the touching remix of Art Garfunkel's "Bright Eyes" called "Fiver to Bigwig".

But the highlight has to be the 05ymy50 project. Fifty tracks will be released throughout 2005, and eventually mixed together and released on CD. "Something New" is the tenth part which has just been added (hmm... 50 tracks in 2005, and the tenth part has only just been released, and we're over halfway through the year... oh....) Anyway, the first ten parts are all really rather good. Strong electronic roots with a healthy dash of Art of Noise and some help from Simon Pegg. Fabulous.

So get yourselves to osymyso.com right now, and give yourselves some aural stimulation.

Oh yeah, did I mention that it's all free? God bless osymyso!

Athlete release "Tourist"

The almighty Athlete have released a radio edit of "Tourist" as a single on . Haven't seen it in the shops, so I presume it's a download-only single. Will keep you updated...
Alternatively, you can get the whole album instead. It's really very good (though not as good as Vehicles and Animals. Why not get that too?!)

"Feel The Machine" is Out Now!

Yes, the brilliant debut single from The Chalets (see below) is out today. If you click here: you can listen to it, and download it if you want to keep it (and so you should, cos it's fab!). The b-side is great too - is that the Asda jingle or what?

If you don't want to get it from iTunes, you can go to a record emporium and get the CD for only 1.99. Bargain. What more could you ask for?

New Band Alert: Oversol

I saw this band a couple of months ago when they supported Athlete at Brixton Academy, and I was really impressed by them (unlike the Morning Runner, the other support act who were quite boring, truth be told...). They've got some great tunes (2 of which you can download free from their website:oversol.co.uk) and a really energetic stage presence. I was so taken with them that I remembered their name even after the Athlete gig (which was stupendous, by the way) and managed to Google them at the earliest opportunity. They're unsigned at the moment, but as they seem to be loved by both HMV and Xfm, that may change in the very near future.

New Band Alert: The Modern

The song "Suburban Culture" was a free download from the iTunes Music Store a few weeks back - and it's absolutely brilliant. A cool slice of early '80s electro-pop - shades of Duran Duran, The Human League and Visage (but not an actual rip off. Are you listening, Ms Osbourne?!). By clicking on the iTunes link you can hear a free sample and then buy it! Sorry, it's not free any more, but 79p is a small price to pay for such a great song. Check out their other tracks on iTunes - "Industry" is also a great tune! Also, make sure you go and have a look at their website, with its nifty Flash interface! www.the-modern.co.uk

New Band Alert: The Chalets

Just seen the video for "Feel the Machine" on The Amp, and I like what I saw (and heard as well). Cheeky new-wave electro-pop, a couple of Lauren Laverne-alikes called Peepee and Pony in long socks (which can only be a good thing) and 3 blokes (called Dylan, enda and Chris, if you need to know...).

It's got a really smart Photoshop-inspired video too! Anyway, here's the link to their site: The Chalets and I predict good things for them! (hey, I was right about Athlete when they first started!)

Roisin Murphy

I'm really liking Roisin Murphy's new single "If We're In Love". It's funky and sexy and cool. Bizarre, cos I couldn't stand anything she did with Moloko.

Update

Oh it's all been a bit quiet, hasn't it? The welcome message is still banging on about Big Brother 5, when Big Brother 6 is about to start! I'm sorry, if anyone out there is an avid KinkyMachine fan. I'm trying to work on a totally new design, a new concept, but it's not going very well.

You see, I've decided I want the site to be more about me, so that it'll be a place for me to put all my writing, my photographs and even, gulp, my music (which has already been converted into mp3s, so it's just a matter of time).

The trouble is, I can't quite get the layout right. I've got a lot of elements that I like, but they're just not hanging together properly, so it's getting quite frustrating. And then I've gone an overwritten the one bit of HTML and JavaScript that I liked and haven't got a copy, so I'll have to do that again. Bah!

On a different tangent, I've set up another blog purely for music (other people's, that is) over at DirtyPopSlut (deleted). Feel free to have a look and drop in a comment or two. There's links to mash-ups, dodgy remixes and iTunes goodies, so go and have a nose. It's only been up a day or so, so give it a chance. And if you want to be a fellow 'slut, then let me know.

Right, hopefully the new site will be up soon and this blog will remain (in content if not in design, so stick around!)

Oh my giddy aunt...

It's so twisted, it's unbelievable, it's 13 different flavours of wrong, and yet, and yet... it feels so good. You'll need a shower after this.

Enjoy! I Love Horses!

Mash-Up Mayhem: "Are You Going To Be My Love Machine?"

In my on-going quest to find the best (and worst) of the net's mash-ups, I proudly present Jet vs. Girls Aloud "Are You Gonna Be My Love Machine?" You see, it's Girls Aloud and Jet. Together. What's not to love?

Get it here!

Aero's finally here!

Well, I've just got a hold of Aero, and even though I haven't got a 5.1 Surround sound system, the CD still sounds lovely and deep and gorgeous! Go get it, you shmoes!

Can't do a proper listen to it at the mo', 'cos I've got bigger fish to fry...

Music and other important stuff...

Is it just me, or is there a lot of good pop music around at the moment? I mean, pure, fluffy, catchy pop? I can't get Annie's "Chewing Gum" out of my head at the moment - and if you know the song, chances are it's in your head too now! Bwah ha ha! And this is the second great pop song Richard X has written/produced this year, after Rachel Stevens's (no relation) "Some Girls" (and now you're humming that one too!)

And that's without mentioning Girls Aloud's "The Show", if only for the line: "Should have known/Should have cared/Should have hung around the kitchen in my underwear, acting like a lady". Pure bloody poetry.

On a similar note, Jean Michel Jarre's Aero comes out on Monday - pity I haven't got a 5.1 surround sound set up yet, so I'll just have to make do with 1.1 stereo. Bah! (BTW, did anyone else see him on BBC's Breakfast the other day? Didn't look well to me - maybe it was just the dead Womble he had on his head...!) If it wasn't clear from the previous post, this is the first album composed from the ground up in surround sound (there have been other surround sound albums, but they were just tweaked stereo), so it should be pretty bizarre to listen to (if you can!)

Adam and the Ants:"Prince Charming"

In 1981, a young boy was given this album while he was living in Kuwait. Granted, the album was on a very dodgy bootleg cassette (as they all were then), but he played it over and over again. Something in the music stirred something deep inside, and that album became one of that boy's favourites. It was also probably the first album that boy ever owned (we won't mention Shaky by Shakin' Stevens, or The Kids from Fame - well, at least not here).

Fast-forward 23 years (23! Good grief!), and now Prince Charming has been remastered, repackaged and re-released, (as have Dirk Wears White Sox and Kings of the Wild Frontier, with the others to come) along with a few bonus demo tracks. The album itself is just brilliant, from the huge and storming opening track, "Scorpios" with one of the greatest drum sequences in history, through the baroque and quite splendid (and gloriously named) "Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simios", and out to the hot and passionate decadence of "S.E.X." (which I'm amazed still made it onto the bootleg tape in Kuwait). And that's all without mentioning the two most famous tracks on the album, "Prince Charming" and "Stand and Deliver". Who can forget the videos? The Dandy Highwaymen, and Diana Dors doing the "Prince Charming" (brilliantly revived in the latest Pimm's advert), are both iconic moments in pop history.

The remastering has really helped the album, removing all the hiss, and really allowing the incredibly high production values to shine through. The track breaks on the CD have been readjusted from the last CD release (when "Mile High Club" and "Ant Rap" were merged into one track, and the reprise of "Los Rancheros" was given its own track for some reason), so the whole package flows much more seamlessly. The demo tracks at the end of the album, are interesting, as they show how the songs developed, as well as highlighting how much all the production helped the finished product.

Punk? No, not really. But this was probably the first great pop album of the eighties - and that's not a bad thing at all.

Aero

Jarre.net - The Official Jean Michel Jarre Site

"Jean Michel Jarre's new best of-album 'Aero' is scheduled for release on 20 September 2004 and will be released as a normal stereo CD and as an audio DVD containing 5.1 surround sound versions of the songs. The album contains newly recorded versions of Jean Michel's best compositions as well as three brand new tracks. The album was recorded by Jean Michel Jarre, Francis Rimbert & Patrick Pelamourgues. Joachim Garraud took care of the mixing and audio optimisation.

Tracklist:

Aero Opening - Scene 1
Oxygene 2 - Scene 2
Aero - Scene 3
Equinoxe 8
Oxygene 4 - Scene 4
Souvenir of China - Scene 5
Aerology - Scene 6
Equinoxe 3 - Scene 7
Equinoxe 4 - Scene 8
Last Rendez-Vous - Scene 9
Zoolookologie - Scene 10
Aerozone - Scene 11
Magnetic Fields 1 - Scene 12
Chronologie 6
Rendez-Vous 4"

Bloody hell! Why does it have to be the same day the the Holy Trilogy is released? I'll have to save up even more. Or just stick them both on my credit card...

I'm taking the day off too! Lots of popcorn, and all three DVDs back to back. Bliss.

Kylie Doll!!!

Gimme gimme gimme!!!!!

Kylie shop - the official Kylie Minogue online shop

The Wild Boys are Back!

When I was younger, one thing that really pissed me off was the fact that I would probably never get to see the original Duran Duran line-up performing live. After Live Aid, both Roger Taylor and Andy Taylor got fed up and left, leaving Nick Rhodes, Simon Le Bon and John Taylor. They carried along for a while, being joined by Warren Cuccurullo, who left a couple of years ago, quickly followed by John Taylor. It all seemed as if it was all over...

And then they all announced they were getting back together! They recorded a load of new songs, and played a few gigs in the USA, to huge acclaim. And this week, they started their sell-out run of shows in the UK... and I got to see them at Wembley! Hurrah!

I could bore you all by writing a full-on gig review, but I won't. I'll just say that Goldfrapp were absolutely brilliant in support, even if most of the people there didn't give a fig. Damn, that girl can sing! (BTW, I heartily recommend their Black Cherry album.)

And the boys themselves were brilliant, playing most of their big hits, some of their smaller hits and some quite fab new material. They all played their little hearts out for nearly 2 hours! All the crowd danced and sang along for nearly the whole night (especially to Notorious and Is There Something I Should Know?), and a thoroughly good time was had by all! If you have the means, I heartily recommend a visit. They rock!

So, there you go. If you're very lucky, sometimes dreams can come true! (And I heard my favourite ever song (The Reflex) played live. Karma's a good thing sometimes!

Save the Gorilla!

I thought this was too good to miss! Adam Ant (Lord of All) has re-recorded "Stand and Deliver" in aid of Dian Fossey's Gorilla Fund, and is taking place in the Great Gorilla Run on September 21st. As I write I'm downloading the mp3, so we'll see. Apparently, Sir Ant has been writing and recording as well, and hopes to release a new album next year. Hurrah! And he's doing it with one of the old Ants too! Anyway, if you click on the link you can download the track, sponsor Adam and generally find out about the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund.

See. Entertaining and socially aware. What more could you ask for?

Well, it's pretty cool - more laid back than the original - Adam's voice is still as entertaining as ever - and this proves he can still cut it as a singer! The future looks good! Again, hurrah!

Review: "Never Enough - The Best of Jesus Jones" by Jesus Jones

Well, here it is. After five years in the wilderness (most of them without a record contract), the Jones boys have returned (sort of) with a greatest hits compilation to support their recent tour of the UK and the US. This album contains the best bits gleaned from the four EMI albums they recorded between 1989 (Liquidizer) and 1997 (Already) and contains some real classics.

Aside from the singles, a few albums tracks have sneaked into the mix (personally selected by lead singer and songwriter Mike Edwards) as well as the obligatory new track ("Come On Home") to ensure that the album is bought by those fans who already have all the albums. Darn their dastardly tactics. Still, if you have got the albums already, there's always the second disc to listen to. This contains a collection of mixes and alternate versions of the singles, mixed by the likes of the Prodigy and Aphex Twin (both supplying versions of "Zeroes and Ones" from 1993's Perverse). However it's the first three tracks that get the attention. "Info Sicko", "Enough - Never Enough" and "Beat it Down" are all rougher versions of "Info Freako", "Never Enough" and "Bring it on Down" and show what the band were like when they first started - all thrashing guitars, raw samples and attitude, but with a great ear for production and a tune.

Jesus Jones probably got recognized with the release of their second album, Doubt (1991) and the slew of chart singles that came from it. Starting with their first top 20 hit, "Real Real Real" (a song which was actually a piss-take - but nobody noticed) and continuing through their biggest hit to date, "International Bright Young Thing" (also my own favorite) and "Who? Where? Why?" the band established themselves both at home and abroad.

Apart from the singles, some of the choices Edwards has made for the track listing come as a bit of surprise. Instead of using the original version of "Move Mountains", Liquidizer's opening track, Edwards has chosen a remix by Ben Chapman, which is a lot more dance orientated and loses some of the passion and originality of the album version. Again, with "International Bright Young Thing" and "Who? Where? Why?", the remixed single versions have been selected. I feel that once again, the album versions are better, but less familiar to casual fans. Of particular interest is the inclusion of "Blissed" (Doubt) and "Idiot Stare" (Perverse) both brilliant album tracks that have appeared on my own car-tape compilation. "Blissed" is a chilled pulsing ode to doing nothing: "If the sun shines today, I think I'll stay in anyway", while "Idiot Stare" is a twisting, frenetic anger-ballad: 'I don't know if I care, / I can't feel, I can't speak, I can't think, / Caught in an Idiot Stare."

Already, the much underrated fourth album supplies three tracks, the excellent but unpopular single "Chemical #1" and the album tracks "The Next Big Thing" and "They're Out There", which are OK, but there are better tracks on the album. The new single, "Come On Home" is classic Jesus Jones - samples, harmonies and a bit of thrash thrown in for good measure.

All in all, this is an excellent testament to Jesus Jones' work, which has survived longer and with more stamina than some of their contemporaries (such as EMF or Ned's Atomic Dustbin). I would have liked to have seen more rare tracks and B-sides on the second CD, such as "Broken Bones" (from the US version of Liquidizer) or "Maryland" (the B-side to "International Bright Young Thing") or even their version of Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile" from the NME Ruby Trax album. Where the band go from here is anyone's guess. A free download of their single "In the Face of All of This" from their US-only album London is available from the official website (www.jesusjones.com) so you can judge for yourself!

The kinkyMachine Recommends... Part 2!

Managed to stick to the formula set up in the previous installment of Recommends.... So, here is a new(ish) book, video and CD that we recommend. Tell us if you agree with us, or whether we're talking out of the bottom of our keyboard.
Remember, if you've seen, read, or heard anything fabulous recently, then let us know. It doesn't even have to be new. If you really dig Homer's Odyssey (mmm, Cyclops!) then let us know.

Book:e. by Matt Beaumont
This is a truly original and hilarious first novel by Matt Beaumont. Told entirely in e-mails, it concerns the goings-on in a top flight London advertising agency, Miller Shanks while they try to win the sacred Coca-Cola account. This is a place where everyone is gloriously two-faced, mad, power-crazed and often all at the same time, from the eager young (sex-mad) copywrighters up to the CEO who can't seem to get his e-mail working properly, taking in the sad bloke in accounts who wants to sell his waffle-iron ("First to see will buy!")

The style takes a bit of getting used to, but once you're in, you won't want to come up for air (isn't it funny how you can't seem to review something without using cliches? Hmm...). For anyone who's ever worked in an office, or with a group of bizarre people, this book will hit a chord. The team at Miller Shanks are recognizable, abhorrent and yet compelling. Some you'd want to go down the pub with, others you'd run a mile to avoid.

Hell, no more words - this book is BRILLIANT. Buy it now!

Video:Northern Exposure Season One Boxset
Possibly one of the greatest TV shows of the late '80s, Northern Exposure followed in the bizarre footsteps of shows like Twin Peaks, bringing the strange goings-on of small-town USA to light. The show concerns the newly-qualified doctor, Joel Fleischmann, whose medical education was paid for by the state of Alaska, where he has to work for a few years to repay the debt. Joel thinks he'll get a nice practise in Anchorage, but finds himself in the middle of nowhere, or more precisely, Ciceley, a small town inhabited by some strange inhabitants.

At times, Joel finds himself furious with his situation, but the warmth and eccentricity of the town and its people overtake him against his will. From Maurice Minnefield, the ex-astronaut who runs the town, Chris Stevens, the town's DJ with a passion for psychology and (sometimes) kleptomania, down to Ed, the young local with a burning interest in Cinema (especially Fellini), all the characters are unique and incredible.

Even if you only vaguely remember the show, and remember enjoying it, then I suggest you buy this boxset. You won't be disappointed!

CD:Know Your Enemy by the Manic Street Preachers
Wales' favorite sons (or is that the Stereophonics?) return with a pretty decent new album. The first half is sheer brilliance, including the double singles "So Why So Sad"and "Found That Soul", and the incredible new single "Ocean Spray". Having said that, the rest of the album is pretty good too, with "Royal Correspondent" asserting itself as one of my favorites.

Nicky Wire (bass player, often wears a dress) takes the mike for the first time on "Wattsville Blues" a lo-fi homage to his home town. Okay, his singing isn't the best in the world, but I'd rather listen to him than Geri Halliwell. His refrain at the end of "Miss Europa Disco Dancer" is also intriguing, but I'll leave that to you to discover.

A bit of a mixed bag, possibly not as good as either Everything Must Go or This Is My Truth... (of the post-Richie albums) but still very much worth a listen.

Britney Spears - oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

Now some of you may have noticed the "pop sensation" that is Miss Britney Spears, who has taken the music world by storm over the last year. In the past, Britney has set herself up as some sort of Lolita-esque figure - who could forget the school-uniform of her first single or the stunning red and black PVC combo of "Born to Make You Happy"?

Now, as you may know, the young lady has a new single out, called "Oops, I Did It Again...", and those of you with access to the myriad permutations of MTV on Sky (or if you just love Saturday morning kids TV) will have seen the video to this single.

For those that haven't, let me summarize. A dashing astronaut flies off to Mars and encounters our Brit who has seemingly set herself up a Queen of Mars (or something). So far so good (though what it's got to do with the song is anybody's guess - and what is that Titanic bit all about?), but my major problem is with the young lady's outfit. She's wearing a red latex catsuit.

"Now what's wrong with that, Craig?" I hear you ask. "You're a purveyor of all things kinky, aren't you?"

Yes I am, but I also believe in style. Miss Spears has chosen to wear an item of provocative clothing, but YOU CAN'T WEAR A CATSUIT WITH FLARED LEGS AND (wait for it...) BLACK TRAINERS!! It's positively criminal! Okay, so you can't exactly dance easily in 4-inch high stilletto knee-high boots, but black trainers, for heavens sake!

I do have to say, though, that the other outfits she wears in the video are much better, and show signs of improvement. So, Britney, sort it out! If you are going to be a kinky sex-kitten, then do it right. Get the boots, get the catsuits, sack your stylist and do the job properly!

And don't get me started on Steps...

Atomic Kitten - the little group that could

Ah, Atomic Kitten. Where to begin? Formed in 1998, when Kerry Katona met Elizabeth "Liz / Lil" McClarnon and decided to set up a group with Natasha "Tash" Hamilton. After a while, they signed a record deal with Innocent in 1999, and released their first single "Right Now" in December of that same year. (Rumours that they were to be called Nuclear Pussy are incorrect and forwarded only by Mr. B. Molko of Placebo. It is a great name though...) The record did okay, ending up in the Top 10, and was followed by more singles, including the stonking "I Want Your Love", a mix of the High Chapperal theme and a funky pop song. An album was released, "Right Now", which did very little, very quickly.

We at the kinkyMachine had adopted the girls, mainly because we felt they were going nowhere. We liked their underdog spirit, their northern charms, and their determination to do their thing, even if the general public seemed to be ignoring them. These days, it seems like you have to be a success immediately in the pop game, or else you'll be out before you can say Chesney Hawkes. We heard all the rumours, that Kerry was suffering from exhaustion and depression. The end is nigh, we felt.

And then a few strange things happened. Kerry appeared in Hello! magazine with her boyfriend Bryan from Westlife. Then the band released "Whole Again", a quite nice ballad, with a Sugababes styled video. Then Kerry said she was leaving the band because she was pregnant. The world was shocked, and not just because one of Westlife has been allowed to reproduce. Bang zoom, she was gone. The Kittens thought about it for a while, as they had a single to promote, and so drafted in Jenny Frost, an ex-member of one-time Eurovision hopefuls, Precious. And then "Whole Again" went to number one, beating U2's "Stuck in a moment..." ("We've been licked by the Kitten" - Bono) and stayed there for four weeks. At the time of writing, the song was spending its sixth week inside the top three. Live performances ensued, with the girls holding their own, and now Atomic Kitten are big news.

Publicity stunt? Methinks not. It did seem a strange time for Kerry to bail out of the band she started, but that's pregnancy for you. It did give them some wider recognition, but enough to make them the biggest selling act of the year so far? The song is good, but nothing special. Anyway, whatever reasons, the Kittens have proved that they can do it, and also keeping their cool at a time when most lightweight bands would have collapsed.

The kinkyMachine Recommends...

To celebrate our new, glorious union with Amazon.co.uk, we've developed this new page to inform you of the best things since sliced bread. Our favourite books, games, CDs, Videos and whatever else tickles our fancy will appear here, and (by the miracle of modern technology) if you click on an item, you will be whisked away to Amazon.co.uk where you will be able to purchase said item. Marvellous, isn't it?

But it doesn't stop there. Oh no. You, yes you, (no, not you, YOU!) can write in and recommend anything as well. Tell us why it's so pant-wettingly wonderful and we'll stick it up, so that others can share its excellence. Hurrah!

Right, on with the show....

The Truth by Terry Pratchett
The latest in the Discworld series, The Truth is possibly one of Terry Pratchett's best novels. The plot concerns the rise of journalism in Ankh-Morpork (The Discworld's biggest city, for all you newcomers), as well as a plot to overthrow the city's benevolent dictator, all overshadowed by a couple of wannabe Reservoir Dogs. If you are a newcomer to the Discworld, then this might actually be a good place to start. The majority of the characters are new, but there are still wonderful cameos and bit-parts for some of the old favorites (Especially the bit with the Bursar at the beginning....). Terry Pratchett's writing is as good as ever, and he's even managed to ride the plot all the way home with this book (which makes a refreshing change). If you want a good laugh, but also a brilliant insight into the manipulation of the media, then you could do no better than this book. Oh, and it's also got humourous-looking vegetables in it....

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Box 1
The best show on TV at the moment (or not if you're stuck with BBC2 and its bloody snooker or whatever...), this box set contains the first half of the third season of Buffy, possibly the best it's ever got. Angel got packed off to hell at the end of the previous seson, leaving Buffy feeling a tad upset, so she went off to the big city, called herself Anne and moped around a bit. Still, after that things really get interesting. A new Slayer, Faith, turns up and starts causing some havoc (and not just 'cos Eliza Dushku is an ultimate babe - if a trifle unhinged...). Add to that the rise of the hysterical Mayor Wilkins, and you'll just about be ready for the second half of the season. The writing is excellent, the cast fabulous (Anya also gets introduced in these episodes as well, yippee!) and it really just is the badger's nadgers. Go forth and buy now!

Light Years by Kylie Minogue
She's back, and this time she's wearing a... well, not much really. Still, never mind, eh! The Princess of Pop is back to show Britney, Christina and Bob the Builder how to do it, and she's as camp as a row of pink tents. From the fabulous singles, "Spinning Around" and "On a Night Like This" to the '70s Pet Shop Boys'esque "Your Disco Needs You" this is a stunning slice of pure Pop. If you can't find the music to get down and boogie, then this is the album for you. From Donna Summer to Village People though to Robbie's "Kids", this CD will take you back in time to your youth, and memories of your parents doing unspeakable things in polyester. Brilliant, just Brilliant. 'Nuff sed. (And that's a corking picture on the cover too!)