Britney Spears - oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

Now some of you may have noticed the "pop sensation" that is Miss Britney Spears, who has taken the music world by storm over the last year. In the past, Britney has set herself up as some sort of Lolita-esque figure - who could forget the school-uniform of her first single or the stunning red and black PVC combo of "Born to Make You Happy"?

Now, as you may know, the young lady has a new single out, called "Oops, I Did It Again...", and those of you with access to the myriad permutations of MTV on Sky (or if you just love Saturday morning kids TV) will have seen the video to this single.

For those that haven't, let me summarize. A dashing astronaut flies off to Mars and encounters our Brit who has seemingly set herself up a Queen of Mars (or something). So far so good (though what it's got to do with the song is anybody's guess - and what is that Titanic bit all about?), but my major problem is with the young lady's outfit. She's wearing a red latex catsuit.

"Now what's wrong with that, Craig?" I hear you ask. "You're a purveyor of all things kinky, aren't you?"

Yes I am, but I also believe in style. Miss Spears has chosen to wear an item of provocative clothing, but YOU CAN'T WEAR A CATSUIT WITH FLARED LEGS AND (wait for it...) BLACK TRAINERS!! It's positively criminal! Okay, so you can't exactly dance easily in 4-inch high stilletto knee-high boots, but black trainers, for heavens sake!

I do have to say, though, that the other outfits she wears in the video are much better, and show signs of improvement. So, Britney, sort it out! If you are going to be a kinky sex-kitten, then do it right. Get the boots, get the catsuits, sack your stylist and do the job properly!

And don't get me started on Steps...