Friday Night Blog: Knight Rider

So for the last few weeks, viewers of the Sci-Fi channel have been able to catch a couple of new shows, one being Joss Whedon's Dollhouse (more on that when I've actually watched it...), and the other is the new version of Knight Rider.

Knight Rider was a major part of my childhood, watching David Hasselhoff defeating baddies and helping single mothers weekly, with the help of his super-powered Trans Am car, KITT. I loved the show, I wanted KITT (why were the toys all a little bit, well, rubbish?) and just thought it was the bees knees (along with Airwolf of course!

The original show ran for four years from 1982, eventually trailing off into a dire fourth season (Super Pursuit Mode?) before the plug was pulled. The concept flared up a few times over the years (Knight Rider 2000, Knight Rider 2010 and Team Knight Rider) but nothing really caught on.

A new pilot was made and aired last February, featuring a new car, the Knight Industries 3000 (voiced by Val Kilmer), and a new hero, the son of Michael Knight, Mike Traceur (played by Justin Bruening). David Hasselhoff appeared in a cameo, handing the torch onto his son, but looking very creaky! This went down quite well in the US, and prompted a new series to be commissioned.

Some changes were made between the pilot and the series - more action was included, a whole base for KITT was created, taking it away from the "one man can make a difference" of the original, to "one man, one woman, lots of tech people and a couple of shifty feds can make a bit of a difference". KITT was upgraded slightly, and Mike Traceur "died" because a lot of people knew who he was from his black ops days in and after Iraq, and he became, guess what? Michael Knight!

So, is it any good? Well, Bruening is a likeable lead, and is easily supported and matched by his co-star Deanna Russo, who plays Sarah Graiman, nano-technology specialist, daughter of KITT's creator, Charles Graiman (Bruce Davison), and also looks damn fine in a bikini (it's part of one of the plots, OK?!)

The plots are OK - lightweight and fun and mustn't be taken too seriously. If you compare them to some of the original series scripts, then they stand up well. Battlestar Galactica they ain't. Having all the tech people and the feds around the "KITT cave" kind of distract from the original mission. Half the time, when KITT goes wrong, then it's down to the techies to fix him - the original could have done it himself.

And as for KITT himself, well, he's now a Mustang, but he's still pretty cool. The original scanner has been replaced by a double strip, and thankfully they've replaced the "woo-woo" sound it made in the original (it was missing in the pilot). Turbo boost didn't appear in the pilot, but it does in the series. The only trouble with it now is that KITT apparently has to transform himself into "Attack Mode" to do it. This means that he has to "grow" new spoilers, wings, and a great big air intake on his bonnet, bringing horrible echoes of the aforementioned Super Pursuit Mode. With the neon lights, it looks like Westwood has pimped my KITT. It's horrible.

You see, another of KITT's gimmicks is that he's able to transform himself into other cars, using some nano-technology or something. For example, he can change colour or become a Ford F-150 pick-up truck. This is all well, if a bit implausible, but in the first episode of the series, Traceur jumps into the back of KITT in pick-up mode with another man. KITT then transforms himself around them, so that they end up in the front seats of the Mustang-KITT. Hmmm.

All in all, it's quite an enjoyable series. I've read that it gets rebooted halfway through the first series, bringing it back more to the "one man" mission, and then I think it got cancelled. Ho hum. Still, it's quite a fun hour to spend if you want to take your brain off the hook.

And as for the theme music? Desecration is the word that springs to mind...

(Thanks to The Knight Rider Archive for all the info!)

Friday Night Blog: Star Trek

And so the future begins again.... J.J. Abrams, the man who brought us Lost and Cloverfield and Alias gets his hands on Paramount's crown jewels, and delivers a new Star Trek, not exactly for a new generation, as he's rebooted the original Kirk and Spock series, rather than creating a new crew.

In a time-twisting plotline that rewrites history, Abrams effectively wipes Starfleet's future history, from the moment his protagonist, the Romulan Nero, arrives from the future (around Picard's time), destroys the USS Kelvin, and kills the father of the still-being-born Jim Kirk. The future of Star Trek - all the films, The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager all now exist down another leg of the trousers of time. The only thing that remains intact is the future Spock (who also travelled back to try to stop Nero) and the prequel series Enterprise.

Got that? Good.

So is it any good? Well by rebooting the series that means we have to have new actors playing the iconic roles. This is tricky, because the actors have to give us the essence of the characters, without sinking into parody.

Karl Urban gives us a brilliant McCoy, all gruff and grumpy and sarcastic, Chris Pine actually manages to feel like Kirk, while avoiding Shatner's stilted delivery, and Zachary Quinto gives a brilliant performance as Spock, once you can get over the fact that he's not still playing Sylar from Heroes. You half expect him to raise a finger to Kirk's forehead and start slicing....

The other crew members remain much as they were, generally character-less, except they all seem to be geniuses at something or other. For example, Anton Yelchin's Chekov (with his over-the-top accent - Walter Koenig's was dodgy, but this is just too much) is suddenly a transporter expert, being able to lock onto fast-falling objects. The usual Trek genius, Scotty (played by Simon Pegg with his tongue firmly in his cheek) doesn't appear until the last third of the film, so I suppose they had to find someone to fill his shoes for that scene. Uhura is the only character to have more of a developed character than she ever did in the original series, acting as a surprise love-interest for a major character.... And Zoë Saldana isn't exactly ugly, either!

There are enough nods to the original series to keep the fans happy, enough differences to make their blood boil, and probably enough to keep the non-Trekkie entertained too. The film looks brilliant, from the Enterprise's new iBridge (I like the idea that the viewscreen is also a window now, rather than just the old screen), to the more realistic, down-and-dirty engineering section, all pipes and water and steam. Looks like Abrams been watching his Firefly...!

I liked the film, but I didn't love it, but then I've never really been a fan of the original series (more of a Next Gen boy). I felt the plot, although emotionally engaging, was a little slight, and I'm pretty much sick to death of time-travel shenanigans in Star Trek, which I'd hoped we'd left behind. I'm sure there'll be more films to come, and this is a likeable, fun version of the crew to go on new voyages with.

Review: "Wild Boy: My Life in Duran Duran" - Andy Taylor

Duran Duran were probably the first band that I really loved - not just in a "oh, they make good songs" kind of way, but in a "wow, they're really great" kind of way. I loved John Taylor's funky bass playing (just listen to some of those bass lines), Nick Rhodes' cool and funky synth lines, Roger Taylor's power drumming ("Wild Boys"), and Simon Le Bon's perfect pop voice (and lyrics, which as every '80s pop band knew, shouldn't be easily understood, and if you could hear them, they shouldn't make sense) but I never really got Andy Taylor's contribution to the band. Not that the guitar parts weren't important; his acoustic work on tracks like "Save A Prayer" is fantastic, but he always seemed to me the outsider, the "rock" star who had wandered into this "pop" band, and would prefer to not be wearing the make-up and tea-towel clothes.

Andy's book, Wild Boy: My Life in Duran Duran confirms much of this feeling. He was the last member to be recruited to the band, having been gigging with various rock bands around Europe, and was one of the first to leave (and the only member to leave twice!) when things went a bit wonky. His story is one of antagonism with various members of the band (and management and record company) at one time or another, but what also comes across is his attempts at trying to keep everything together when the excesses of being one of the biggest bands of the '80s were taking their toll.

Andy tells his story with a great sense of humour and realism. He doesn't shy away from the problems he had with drink and drugs, but neither does he gloss over them, or even moralize about them. He talks frankly about the problems within the band and reveals why he had to leave the band in the mid-eighties, and then again after the reunion.

What has struck me is how much I now appreciate his contribution to one of my favourite bands. He reveals that his favourite Duran song is "The Reflex", (the same as mine) and also reveals the struggle the band had to get the Nile Rogers remix of the song released by the record company in the USA. The problem? It apparently sounded "too black"! The band (especially Andy) fought to get it released, and it became their biggest single of all, showing that record companies don't always know what's best.

This is the first official autobiography of Duran Duran, and as such it obviously has its shortcomings, as the band still carried on without Andy during the second half of the eighties and into the nineties. Andy understandably glosses over this time (as the book is subtitled "My Life in Duran Duran"), but he also doesn't recognize the fact that the band did quite well without him (especially the Notorious and Duran Duran - The Wedding Album albums.

Hopefully, this book will drive one of the other band members to give their side of the story. Nick Rhodes would be ideal, as he's the only member of the band to have survived from their earliest Rum Runner days all the way through to the present day. Until then we'll just have to make do with Andy Taylor's, which isn't a bad thing after all. (You could also try Steve Malins' unauthorised biography Notorious, which is also quite entertaining.)

Review: Superman Returns

And so, after an eternity in Development Hell, the Man of Steel finally flies back onto the big screen. Nineteen years after the execrable Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, Bryan Singer manages to restore the reputation of the Last Son of Krypton in much the same way as Christopher Nolan did for Batman last year.

Singer sticks closely to Richard Donner's highly iconic and influential original movie, keeping much of John Williams' emotive score and even the style of the opening credits (also nicked for the credits for the new Doctor Who series...). The film, intended as a direct sequel to the first two movies, takes place some five years after Superman leaves Earth to search for the shattered remains of his home world. He returns (see where they got the name from?) to find that the world has moved on. Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has a new fiancé and a son and is about to be awarded a Pulitzer Prize for an story about why humanity no loger needs a Superman.

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (played by a wonderfully scene-stealing Kevin Spacey) has evaded prison because Superman didn't turn up for a parole hearing and has swindled a dying woman out of her estate so that he can discover the source of the Man of Steel's power and knowledge.

Brandon Routh proves to be an excellent choice in the twin roles of Superman/Clark Kent. He echoes Christopher Reeve's bumbling Clark persona, but also manages to make Superman his own. He's friendly but slightly aloof, charming and yet distant - almost alien. Much of the film's emotional core comes from his feelings of loneliness, and his feelings for Lois.

If Donner's film showed us that we could believe a man could fly, this time we believe he can fly, catch falling jet aircraft and stop gas explosions with his icy breath. The effects are excellent, and in some ways very subtle - the haze surrounding Superman's heat vision, the flames of re-entry into atmosphere, the sonic boom as he flies off at top speed. Mainly we revel in the pure joy of seeing someone fly, much in the same way we enjoy the sight of Spidey swinging through New York.

Unfortunately, it's also Singer's insistence on sticking closely to the original movie that lets it down in some ways. twenty-eight years on(!) we demand more pace from our superhero movies, with a bar of quality set by two Spider-Man films, at least three Batmans and even Singer's own pair of X-Men. Those films show that you can have emotion, have slow moments and still deliver a cracking, well-paced action movie. Superman Returns seems to have its beats in the wrong places and the story seems to fizzle out, ending not with a bang, but a whimper. There's no rousing emotional climax, no real sense of threat to the world from which only Superman can save us.

Hopefully, this won't be the last we'll see of Superman on the big screen, but any further films will have to stand on their own, rather than riding the nostalgic coat-tails of the 1978 epic. Does the world need a Superman? Probably not, but its still rather wonderful to have him around.

Superman Returns UK Website

Review: Batman Begins

Thank god! The ghosts of Joel Schumacher's travesties can finally be laid to rest, and even Tim Burton has been blown out of the BatCave. Sing hallelujah! They've finally managed to do a decent, nay, brilliant Batman film!

Christopher Nolan has got the tone, the cast and the whole goddamn feel of the thing absolutely spot-on. Christian Bale makes both a dark, brooding and driven Bruce Wayne, and a well cool Dark Knight, both at the same time (well, not exactly at the same time, but you know what I mean...) Heck, everything was right. It was dark and brutal and there wasn't a single sight of a day-glo Batarang or bat-credit card.

And the support cast did exactly what they were supposed to do. Liam Neeson, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman (as a textbook study of Jim Gordon) were all fantastic, and actually acting their socks off, as opposed to chewing the scenery at every opportunity. And that's not even mentioning the new Batmobile...

The best thing was that it all made sense. It was never explained before how Bruce Wayne managed to accrue all these gadgets, without arousing suspicion (even if that means ordering 10,000 bat-ears from China). But this film lays it all out, logically and sensibly.

The first in a proposed trilogy, Batman Begins feels like three films in one itself. The story keeps building and building, from Bruce Wayne's training in the far east, to the creation of Batman in Gotham, to the finale, and the set up to the next film, and the treat of a villain who leaves a certain playing card at the scene of his crimes... Bring It On!

"Secretary"

First of all, forget everything you think you know about this film. If you've seen the trailer, then try to erase it from your memory, because this film is so much more than either the press coverage or even the film's own marketing make it out to be.

Maggie Gyllenhaal plays Lee Holloway, a young woman recently released from an institute. Her family life is less than ideal, so Lee harms herself as a release (with a sewing kit, assortment of drill bits and even a freshly boiled kettle).

In an attempt to lift herself from this self-destructive cycle, Lee applies for a job as a secretary in a very small law firm, working for E. Edward Grey (played by James Spader, in his usual James Spader-esque way). Over time, the two become attracted to each other. Grey tells Lee that she will never hurt herself again, and she listens to him. Grey is able to fill in the holes in Lee's life, giving her the discipline and, more importantly, attention she craves, while she can act as an outlet for Grey's more sadistic urges. Surprisingly, although she fulfills the submissive role in the relationship, it is Lee who is much more open to this unusual relationship, and it is her who continually pushes Grey towards some sort of consummation, as he tries to keep his feelings repressed and buried.

Interestingly, as a study of a sadomasochistic relationship, the film never descends into cliché or soft-porn. Instead it treats its characters with dignity and compassion, and encourages their inner demons to come out into the light of day, where they see that they aren't that hideous after all.

If you were to believe the media coverage, you'd think that this film is a dark, perverse and sordid film about a hardcore SM relationship. If you believe the trailer (about 6 versions of which are available on the DVD, with only very minor changes - what is the point?) you'd think it was a wacky screwball rom-com chick-flick which just happens to feature some mild kinky sex and bondage. But this film is far better than either of those viewpoints. It is a dark, but a thoughtful look at a relationship which seems extraordinary, but which actually works in practice. Both James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal (ohmygod she's gorgeous...) are both fabulous in this film, which I heartily recommend you watch, and be encouraged to let out your inner perv. You never know, you might like it. (14/07/04)

Adam and the Ants:"Prince Charming"

In 1981, a young boy was given this album while he was living in Kuwait. Granted, the album was on a very dodgy bootleg cassette (as they all were then), but he played it over and over again. Something in the music stirred something deep inside, and that album became one of that boy's favourites. It was also probably the first album that boy ever owned (we won't mention Shaky by Shakin' Stevens, or The Kids from Fame - well, at least not here).

Fast-forward 23 years (23! Good grief!), and now Prince Charming has been remastered, repackaged and re-released, (as have Dirk Wears White Sox and Kings of the Wild Frontier, with the others to come) along with a few bonus demo tracks. The album itself is just brilliant, from the huge and storming opening track, "Scorpios" with one of the greatest drum sequences in history, through the baroque and quite splendid (and gloriously named) "Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simios", and out to the hot and passionate decadence of "S.E.X." (which I'm amazed still made it onto the bootleg tape in Kuwait). And that's all without mentioning the two most famous tracks on the album, "Prince Charming" and "Stand and Deliver". Who can forget the videos? The Dandy Highwaymen, and Diana Dors doing the "Prince Charming" (brilliantly revived in the latest Pimm's advert), are both iconic moments in pop history.

The remastering has really helped the album, removing all the hiss, and really allowing the incredibly high production values to shine through. The track breaks on the CD have been readjusted from the last CD release (when "Mile High Club" and "Ant Rap" were merged into one track, and the reprise of "Los Rancheros" was given its own track for some reason), so the whole package flows much more seamlessly. The demo tracks at the end of the album, are interesting, as they show how the songs developed, as well as highlighting how much all the production helped the finished product.

Punk? No, not really. But this was probably the first great pop album of the eighties - and that's not a bad thing at all.

"The Fermata": Nicholson Baker

his is a bizarre one, and no mistake. Suppose you had the power to stop time, say, with the click of your fingers. What would you do? Arno Strine has that power, and he uses it to undress women. The Fermata is his attempt to write an autobiography, to tell the world about his ability, and what he does while he is in "the fold" of time. As a concept it's brilliant, but sadly, the concept is fairly much squandered by Baker. Arno is a mass of moral contradictions, happily going around undressing and fondling women, leaving them presents of sex toys in strange places and watching them masturbate while ensconced in their laundry basket, while being disgusted by a man who said that he would happily have sex with these inanimate women if he had Arno's power. Arno, it's fair to say, is obsessed by sex and women. He uses a myriad of newly devised terms for female genitalia and masturbation, some funny, most bizarre. He also uses his "fold-powers" to create works of pornography (or "rot") to leave for unsuspecting women. Baker chooses to devote two chapters to repeating these works of "rot", and seems to get a bit carried away by them.

The concept is squandered because Arno doesn't use his powers for anything useful. Instead, Arno is a quite creepy, sociopathic character, seemingly unable to interact with people in any normal way, preferring instead to stop time in order to devise ways to get his rocks off with them. After all, this is a man who is developing RSI from bashing his bishop too much! What is interesting is the way the Arno devises all sorts of methods for stopping time, from pushing his glasses up his nose, to an elaborate scenario involving a washing machine and a reel of thread.

There was talk of a film being made of The Fermata, but it makes you wonder what sort of film it could be, as there is little in the book, beyond the concept, that would translate well. This book is erotic in places, but leaves you with a strange aftertaste. The best thing about it is that it is thought-provoking, and makes you wonder what you would do if you had the power to stop time. Me? I'd probably go around undressing women... (11/07/04)

Shrek 2

Went to see Shrek 2 yesterday. Pretty good - not as funny or as groundbreaking as the first, but still worth the money. No, probably not worth the money, as it costs so bloody much to go to the cinema these days. I remember going to the Odeon in Swansea for only £1.95 in my student days. (Bloody uncomfortable though, especially if you were in the second screen, where the seats all seemed to be at an angle to the screen...)

£13 for two tickets! I ask you! Still, I'll be doing it again in a couple of weeks, when Spider-Man 2 comes out. Not sure about Thunderbirds, though. The 'birds themselves look bloody good (even though TB2 has got a lardy arse), and I'm not sure about a flying FAB1 that isn't even a Rolls-Royce, but why did they have to get children involved? I know Alan Tracy was annoying in the original series, but did they have to make him an annoying child?

And what's Private Hudson doing in charge of International Rescue? "That's it man, game over. It's game over! What the fuck are we going to do now? Launch Thunderbird fucking One?!?"

The kinkyMachine Recommends... Part 2!

Managed to stick to the formula set up in the previous installment of Recommends.... So, here is a new(ish) book, video and CD that we recommend. Tell us if you agree with us, or whether we're talking out of the bottom of our keyboard.
Remember, if you've seen, read, or heard anything fabulous recently, then let us know. It doesn't even have to be new. If you really dig Homer's Odyssey (mmm, Cyclops!) then let us know.

Book:e. by Matt Beaumont
This is a truly original and hilarious first novel by Matt Beaumont. Told entirely in e-mails, it concerns the goings-on in a top flight London advertising agency, Miller Shanks while they try to win the sacred Coca-Cola account. This is a place where everyone is gloriously two-faced, mad, power-crazed and often all at the same time, from the eager young (sex-mad) copywrighters up to the CEO who can't seem to get his e-mail working properly, taking in the sad bloke in accounts who wants to sell his waffle-iron ("First to see will buy!")

The style takes a bit of getting used to, but once you're in, you won't want to come up for air (isn't it funny how you can't seem to review something without using cliches? Hmm...). For anyone who's ever worked in an office, or with a group of bizarre people, this book will hit a chord. The team at Miller Shanks are recognizable, abhorrent and yet compelling. Some you'd want to go down the pub with, others you'd run a mile to avoid.

Hell, no more words - this book is BRILLIANT. Buy it now!

Video:Northern Exposure Season One Boxset
Possibly one of the greatest TV shows of the late '80s, Northern Exposure followed in the bizarre footsteps of shows like Twin Peaks, bringing the strange goings-on of small-town USA to light. The show concerns the newly-qualified doctor, Joel Fleischmann, whose medical education was paid for by the state of Alaska, where he has to work for a few years to repay the debt. Joel thinks he'll get a nice practise in Anchorage, but finds himself in the middle of nowhere, or more precisely, Ciceley, a small town inhabited by some strange inhabitants.

At times, Joel finds himself furious with his situation, but the warmth and eccentricity of the town and its people overtake him against his will. From Maurice Minnefield, the ex-astronaut who runs the town, Chris Stevens, the town's DJ with a passion for psychology and (sometimes) kleptomania, down to Ed, the young local with a burning interest in Cinema (especially Fellini), all the characters are unique and incredible.

Even if you only vaguely remember the show, and remember enjoying it, then I suggest you buy this boxset. You won't be disappointed!

CD:Know Your Enemy by the Manic Street Preachers
Wales' favorite sons (or is that the Stereophonics?) return with a pretty decent new album. The first half is sheer brilliance, including the double singles "So Why So Sad"and "Found That Soul", and the incredible new single "Ocean Spray". Having said that, the rest of the album is pretty good too, with "Royal Correspondent" asserting itself as one of my favorites.

Nicky Wire (bass player, often wears a dress) takes the mike for the first time on "Wattsville Blues" a lo-fi homage to his home town. Okay, his singing isn't the best in the world, but I'd rather listen to him than Geri Halliwell. His refrain at the end of "Miss Europa Disco Dancer" is also intriguing, but I'll leave that to you to discover.

A bit of a mixed bag, possibly not as good as either Everything Must Go or This Is My Truth... (of the post-Richie albums) but still very much worth a listen.

The kinkyMachine Recommends...

To celebrate our new, glorious union with Amazon.co.uk, we've developed this new page to inform you of the best things since sliced bread. Our favourite books, games, CDs, Videos and whatever else tickles our fancy will appear here, and (by the miracle of modern technology) if you click on an item, you will be whisked away to Amazon.co.uk where you will be able to purchase said item. Marvellous, isn't it?

But it doesn't stop there. Oh no. You, yes you, (no, not you, YOU!) can write in and recommend anything as well. Tell us why it's so pant-wettingly wonderful and we'll stick it up, so that others can share its excellence. Hurrah!

Right, on with the show....

The Truth by Terry Pratchett
The latest in the Discworld series, The Truth is possibly one of Terry Pratchett's best novels. The plot concerns the rise of journalism in Ankh-Morpork (The Discworld's biggest city, for all you newcomers), as well as a plot to overthrow the city's benevolent dictator, all overshadowed by a couple of wannabe Reservoir Dogs. If you are a newcomer to the Discworld, then this might actually be a good place to start. The majority of the characters are new, but there are still wonderful cameos and bit-parts for some of the old favorites (Especially the bit with the Bursar at the beginning....). Terry Pratchett's writing is as good as ever, and he's even managed to ride the plot all the way home with this book (which makes a refreshing change). If you want a good laugh, but also a brilliant insight into the manipulation of the media, then you could do no better than this book. Oh, and it's also got humourous-looking vegetables in it....

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Box 1
The best show on TV at the moment (or not if you're stuck with BBC2 and its bloody snooker or whatever...), this box set contains the first half of the third season of Buffy, possibly the best it's ever got. Angel got packed off to hell at the end of the previous seson, leaving Buffy feeling a tad upset, so she went off to the big city, called herself Anne and moped around a bit. Still, after that things really get interesting. A new Slayer, Faith, turns up and starts causing some havoc (and not just 'cos Eliza Dushku is an ultimate babe - if a trifle unhinged...). Add to that the rise of the hysterical Mayor Wilkins, and you'll just about be ready for the second half of the season. The writing is excellent, the cast fabulous (Anya also gets introduced in these episodes as well, yippee!) and it really just is the badger's nadgers. Go forth and buy now!

Light Years by Kylie Minogue
She's back, and this time she's wearing a... well, not much really. Still, never mind, eh! The Princess of Pop is back to show Britney, Christina and Bob the Builder how to do it, and she's as camp as a row of pink tents. From the fabulous singles, "Spinning Around" and "On a Night Like This" to the '70s Pet Shop Boys'esque "Your Disco Needs You" this is a stunning slice of pure Pop. If you can't find the music to get down and boogie, then this is the album for you. From Donna Summer to Village People though to Robbie's "Kids", this CD will take you back in time to your youth, and memories of your parents doing unspeakable things in polyester. Brilliant, just Brilliant. 'Nuff sed. (And that's a corking picture on the cover too!)