"The Fermata": Nicholson Baker

his is a bizarre one, and no mistake. Suppose you had the power to stop time, say, with the click of your fingers. What would you do? Arno Strine has that power, and he uses it to undress women. The Fermata is his attempt to write an autobiography, to tell the world about his ability, and what he does while he is in "the fold" of time. As a concept it's brilliant, but sadly, the concept is fairly much squandered by Baker. Arno is a mass of moral contradictions, happily going around undressing and fondling women, leaving them presents of sex toys in strange places and watching them masturbate while ensconced in their laundry basket, while being disgusted by a man who said that he would happily have sex with these inanimate women if he had Arno's power. Arno, it's fair to say, is obsessed by sex and women. He uses a myriad of newly devised terms for female genitalia and masturbation, some funny, most bizarre. He also uses his "fold-powers" to create works of pornography (or "rot") to leave for unsuspecting women. Baker chooses to devote two chapters to repeating these works of "rot", and seems to get a bit carried away by them.

The concept is squandered because Arno doesn't use his powers for anything useful. Instead, Arno is a quite creepy, sociopathic character, seemingly unable to interact with people in any normal way, preferring instead to stop time in order to devise ways to get his rocks off with them. After all, this is a man who is developing RSI from bashing his bishop too much! What is interesting is the way the Arno devises all sorts of methods for stopping time, from pushing his glasses up his nose, to an elaborate scenario involving a washing machine and a reel of thread.

There was talk of a film being made of The Fermata, but it makes you wonder what sort of film it could be, as there is little in the book, beyond the concept, that would translate well. This book is erotic in places, but leaves you with a strange aftertaste. The best thing about it is that it is thought-provoking, and makes you wonder what you would do if you had the power to stop time. Me? I'd probably go around undressing women... (11/07/04)