"Secretary"

First of all, forget everything you think you know about this film. If you've seen the trailer, then try to erase it from your memory, because this film is so much more than either the press coverage or even the film's own marketing make it out to be.

Maggie Gyllenhaal plays Lee Holloway, a young woman recently released from an institute. Her family life is less than ideal, so Lee harms herself as a release (with a sewing kit, assortment of drill bits and even a freshly boiled kettle).

In an attempt to lift herself from this self-destructive cycle, Lee applies for a job as a secretary in a very small law firm, working for E. Edward Grey (played by James Spader, in his usual James Spader-esque way). Over time, the two become attracted to each other. Grey tells Lee that she will never hurt herself again, and she listens to him. Grey is able to fill in the holes in Lee's life, giving her the discipline and, more importantly, attention she craves, while she can act as an outlet for Grey's more sadistic urges. Surprisingly, although she fulfills the submissive role in the relationship, it is Lee who is much more open to this unusual relationship, and it is her who continually pushes Grey towards some sort of consummation, as he tries to keep his feelings repressed and buried.

Interestingly, as a study of a sadomasochistic relationship, the film never descends into cliché or soft-porn. Instead it treats its characters with dignity and compassion, and encourages their inner demons to come out into the light of day, where they see that they aren't that hideous after all.

If you were to believe the media coverage, you'd think that this film is a dark, perverse and sordid film about a hardcore SM relationship. If you believe the trailer (about 6 versions of which are available on the DVD, with only very minor changes - what is the point?) you'd think it was a wacky screwball rom-com chick-flick which just happens to feature some mild kinky sex and bondage. But this film is far better than either of those viewpoints. It is a dark, but a thoughtful look at a relationship which seems extraordinary, but which actually works in practice. Both James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal (ohmygod she's gorgeous...) are both fabulous in this film, which I heartily recommend you watch, and be encouraged to let out your inner perv. You never know, you might like it. (14/07/04)

Adam and the Ants:"Prince Charming"

In 1981, a young boy was given this album while he was living in Kuwait. Granted, the album was on a very dodgy bootleg cassette (as they all were then), but he played it over and over again. Something in the music stirred something deep inside, and that album became one of that boy's favourites. It was also probably the first album that boy ever owned (we won't mention Shaky by Shakin' Stevens, or The Kids from Fame - well, at least not here).

Fast-forward 23 years (23! Good grief!), and now Prince Charming has been remastered, repackaged and re-released, (as have Dirk Wears White Sox and Kings of the Wild Frontier, with the others to come) along with a few bonus demo tracks. The album itself is just brilliant, from the huge and storming opening track, "Scorpios" with one of the greatest drum sequences in history, through the baroque and quite splendid (and gloriously named) "Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simios", and out to the hot and passionate decadence of "S.E.X." (which I'm amazed still made it onto the bootleg tape in Kuwait). And that's all without mentioning the two most famous tracks on the album, "Prince Charming" and "Stand and Deliver". Who can forget the videos? The Dandy Highwaymen, and Diana Dors doing the "Prince Charming" (brilliantly revived in the latest Pimm's advert), are both iconic moments in pop history.

The remastering has really helped the album, removing all the hiss, and really allowing the incredibly high production values to shine through. The track breaks on the CD have been readjusted from the last CD release (when "Mile High Club" and "Ant Rap" were merged into one track, and the reprise of "Los Rancheros" was given its own track for some reason), so the whole package flows much more seamlessly. The demo tracks at the end of the album, are interesting, as they show how the songs developed, as well as highlighting how much all the production helped the finished product.

Punk? No, not really. But this was probably the first great pop album of the eighties - and that's not a bad thing at all.

"The Fermata": Nicholson Baker

his is a bizarre one, and no mistake. Suppose you had the power to stop time, say, with the click of your fingers. What would you do? Arno Strine has that power, and he uses it to undress women. The Fermata is his attempt to write an autobiography, to tell the world about his ability, and what he does while he is in "the fold" of time. As a concept it's brilliant, but sadly, the concept is fairly much squandered by Baker. Arno is a mass of moral contradictions, happily going around undressing and fondling women, leaving them presents of sex toys in strange places and watching them masturbate while ensconced in their laundry basket, while being disgusted by a man who said that he would happily have sex with these inanimate women if he had Arno's power. Arno, it's fair to say, is obsessed by sex and women. He uses a myriad of newly devised terms for female genitalia and masturbation, some funny, most bizarre. He also uses his "fold-powers" to create works of pornography (or "rot") to leave for unsuspecting women. Baker chooses to devote two chapters to repeating these works of "rot", and seems to get a bit carried away by them.

The concept is squandered because Arno doesn't use his powers for anything useful. Instead, Arno is a quite creepy, sociopathic character, seemingly unable to interact with people in any normal way, preferring instead to stop time in order to devise ways to get his rocks off with them. After all, this is a man who is developing RSI from bashing his bishop too much! What is interesting is the way the Arno devises all sorts of methods for stopping time, from pushing his glasses up his nose, to an elaborate scenario involving a washing machine and a reel of thread.

There was talk of a film being made of The Fermata, but it makes you wonder what sort of film it could be, as there is little in the book, beyond the concept, that would translate well. This book is erotic in places, but leaves you with a strange aftertaste. The best thing about it is that it is thought-provoking, and makes you wonder what you would do if you had the power to stop time. Me? I'd probably go around undressing women... (11/07/04)

Shrek 2

Went to see Shrek 2 yesterday. Pretty good - not as funny or as groundbreaking as the first, but still worth the money. No, probably not worth the money, as it costs so bloody much to go to the cinema these days. I remember going to the Odeon in Swansea for only £1.95 in my student days. (Bloody uncomfortable though, especially if you were in the second screen, where the seats all seemed to be at an angle to the screen...)

£13 for two tickets! I ask you! Still, I'll be doing it again in a couple of weeks, when Spider-Man 2 comes out. Not sure about Thunderbirds, though. The 'birds themselves look bloody good (even though TB2 has got a lardy arse), and I'm not sure about a flying FAB1 that isn't even a Rolls-Royce, but why did they have to get children involved? I know Alan Tracy was annoying in the original series, but did they have to make him an annoying child?

And what's Private Hudson doing in charge of International Rescue? "That's it man, game over. It's game over! What the fuck are we going to do now? Launch Thunderbird fucking One?!?"

Aero

Jarre.net - The Official Jean Michel Jarre Site

"Jean Michel Jarre's new best of-album 'Aero' is scheduled for release on 20 September 2004 and will be released as a normal stereo CD and as an audio DVD containing 5.1 surround sound versions of the songs. The album contains newly recorded versions of Jean Michel's best compositions as well as three brand new tracks. The album was recorded by Jean Michel Jarre, Francis Rimbert & Patrick Pelamourgues. Joachim Garraud took care of the mixing and audio optimisation.

Tracklist:

Aero Opening - Scene 1
Oxygene 2 - Scene 2
Aero - Scene 3
Equinoxe 8
Oxygene 4 - Scene 4
Souvenir of China - Scene 5
Aerology - Scene 6
Equinoxe 3 - Scene 7
Equinoxe 4 - Scene 8
Last Rendez-Vous - Scene 9
Zoolookologie - Scene 10
Aerozone - Scene 11
Magnetic Fields 1 - Scene 12
Chronologie 6
Rendez-Vous 4"

Bloody hell! Why does it have to be the same day the the Holy Trilogy is released? I'll have to save up even more. Or just stick them both on my credit card...

I'm taking the day off too! Lots of popcorn, and all three DVDs back to back. Bliss.